Journal Entry: Thu Jul 9, 2015, 10:10 PM
I realize it's been almost two months. Many things have happened. We are officially moved into our new home. Most of the boxes are unpacked, and things are settling down at my job. At least until I get transferred to a store closer to my home later in the fall, but I'll deal with that when the time comes.
Lately I've been running into a problem when it comes to doing artwork. I'm not sure if it is the after effects of harsh college training, or my own personal trauma, but whenever I try to draw something I get an overwhelming feeling of anxiety that makes me feel pretty sick. The longest I can go is an hour, which isn't good considering I am already a slow artist. With this not a lot of artwork has been done and each time I try to pick it up again the usual anxiety kicks back in. I've been to therapy before for anxiety, but this seems to be a whole new package to deal with. I'm not sure what to do. I keep trying to see if I can overcome it by forcing my way through it, but it seems to be backfiring. Now I'm starting to not want to draw at all just to get away from the feeling. It's pretty sad that something I really love is becoming a source of pain.
Have any of you guys experienced something like this? And if you have what do you do about it? I'm really hoping to overcome this obstacle so I can get back to doing what I love without this fear hanging over me all the time.
My battle plan for now is to try drawing a little everyday to hopefully get over this. Maybe with time things will get better? I really don't know what else to do.